'...and I live by the river.'

London: what to say about it that hasn't already been said? So here is another list.

A list of London-ish things and realizations.

• There is an exit off the Underground which takes you straight to Big Ben, and believe me, there is a reason it's called 'Big'. (I'm sure there is also a reason it's called 'Ben', but I don't know it.) I stood there, like a complete twit, staring up at one of the world's biggest national icons not believing how close one could actually get to it. I teared up, no joke. (Also I am aware that the bell is called 'Big Ben', not the clock tower.)
• The language least spoken in London: English.
• It's a bit hard to find a palace guard that one can take a picture with. Remember Eurotrip? Well there is a reason it's called Hollywook magic because it is actually fairly hard to find a palace guard that wears a bearskin. If one is to find him he is usually inside the palace gates, and unless your name has a title attached to it you can't really get in there. If you were to find the two in the whole of the city that aren't inside the gates, they will be surrounded by a mass of other people. Good luck getting close enough for an intimate picture while 60 other people are pushing their children at armed guards.
• Out of all the McDonalds in all of London my friend and I happened to be in one at the same time as three other people visiting London from Ormskirk.
• No one cares if you are American. Unlike in the North West, where people are always commenting on your 'lovely American accent', the people in London can't be bothered to care.
• It is ridiculously expensive. A cocktail in Ormskirk: max £4.50, and that, to be fair, is pricey. A cocktail in London: £7.25, and this is a fairly basic cocktail, like a double vodka and RedBull
• There is a reason they call it a 'hole in the wall'. Restaurants like this in cities are not like the 'hole in the wall' you will find in a small town. It is not an old pub which has stood the test of time and secretly serves the best steak and ale pie known to mankind; it is a shady chinese buffet which gives new definition to the term 'mystery meat'.
• London is so crowded with anxiously hurrying people that there will be a time in your stay there where you will break down to your lowest low and want to physically hit an elderly person for throwing you off a bus.